How to Use your Past to BETTER Relationships

Life has a way of giving you all the things you never plan for and sometimes the things you don’t deserve. We have to now learn to use the unfavorable events in our past and capitalize on them to create a future that not only possess a solid foundation but also covers the painful memories. A person that has been abused physically never deserves it but they have to learn how to use such experience to encourage others and strengthen their own life. The events in your past may be so painful that you wish to bury them deeper than the foundations of the very earth, but I want to show you the silver lining to having a great future. Just read the through the steps below and be encouraged.

Your plans are never the plans of God. Why? His ways are not like ours. He sees the beginning from the end and the end from the beginning and as our Father; he wants to ensure that your end won’t result in an end that leads to eternal doom! First thing first – have a plan for your life. This plan should be brought before God. PRAY! You don’t have to pray long and hard over it. Just say this simple prayer, “Lord Jesus, let your WILL and not my own be done. Amen”. And leave it right there. Trust God.

When negative things happen to you, NEVER BLAME GOD! God loves you with an everlasting love that evens those that don’t believe in him, He holds them close to His heart. Things happen in life for one or two reasons – it could be retribution (from something you did to someone) or you need to learn a lesson. No one ever wants to go through tests but tests are designed to help you grow and to become towers that are fortified. Life happens -people die that we love, people get abuse, people walk away from marriages, people use others. We just have to come to the reality that life happens. When negatives happen, don’t ask God why. Ask him for wisdom and strength and understanding to get through the fire. Don’t sit in the fire and pity your life because if you do, you will be burnt and burnt to the extreme of death. When things happen, develop a mind to keep pushing!

Seek HELP. People have a way of thinking that if you go to see a therapist or a psychologist, you are going crazy! NO! You are simply recognizing that you are in need of help, and you want to resolve the issues you are faced with so you can get on with life. Talk to someone. Sometimes, a friend is not a good option but if you can’t afford to talk to someone professional, talk to a friend you think you can trust and who have your best interest at heart. If you have no such friend, cry out to God, He will hear and He will answer. But whatever way of venting, it is best that you let it out.

When opportunities show itself for you to minister to someone of something that you have been through, don’t hold back. This is another way of letting things out and goes. Not only will help you but it will also be of great benefit to the one who hears. One thing is sure, a person who is going through “hell’s kitchen”, won’t take encouragement from someone who only knows meadows and sweet sailing. He will take advice from the person who can tell you that, “I have been there” because only such a person he can relate to.

Never regret anything you have been through! Be thankful always. Gratitude is a gift that can move mountains. Just keep this in mind – the steps of a good man are ordered. God planned your life for you. He made life easy but we have created another plan and so when things don’t go the way we desire, we complain and regret. NEVER bring this to your life.

Last but not least, live in the moment. I know you can’t erase your past, but life will always be a burden if you hang on to negative things. Don’t use your past to judge your future. Use it to change the course of your life. When you use your past to judge your future, what you do is this – everyone who comes into your life to love you and be there for you, you shun them away because in your past, all those who “promised” to be there only used you. We can’t allow our minds to be trapped in ten years ago. We only have the moment we breathe in and we have to make the best out of it. And I said and keep emphasizing – use your past as a guide but not a factor to judge present situations and people.